I thought of penning down a few more thoughts on parenting after a friend of mine on Facebook requested for the same. I had dwelt on certain facets of parenting in my previous blog.
In general human beings are like animals, selfish and self-centred. The theory of evolution describes so. What we are now, the ‘civilized’ beings we term ourselves, is achieved only through training, generation by generation. Today human beings are called social beings and as such have responsibilities towards society. Just like academic success requires teaching, crafting a successful personality requires wilful training. And the persons who are entrusted with the primary responsibility for training children are their parents. Parents are obliged to groom children to be social assets.
The first persons that come to my mind while thinking about ‘Parenting’ are my parents. I have to admit, that what I am today is all because of my parents, their responsible upbringing. They never compelled me to get first grades in school, but were never tolerant when it came to practicing values that make up a good human being. They set rules and followed it through with consequences when needed. I’ve tried my best to pass on those timeless values to my children. Some of the rigid disciplinary practices and actions of my parents which were considered a burden then, I should admit, helped me the most to be a successful and socially accepted person that I’m today.
Showing a lot of love and affection is certainly good, but at the same time they should be strictly trained to be good citizens – obeying rules; having civic sense, honesty integrity and social commitment. Well, these values are not innate for all children. For the majority, be taught, if need be enforced as well. Once you have a child, it is an eighteen-year project. It requires a lot of patience. It is easier to leave kids carefree – to make all their choices and find their own destiny; and when their ways turn evil, blame it on society. Unfortunately, this is the common trend nowadays, save a handful responsible parents.
Disciplining children is like eating gooseberries – bitter first, then sweet. No child likes to be disciplined. But parents ought to do so for their good. You need to be firm and loving simultaneously, providing them a supportive atmosphere to grow. Above all, develop in them the ability to put oneself in the shoes of other and grow sensitive. Of course, they will understand and appreciate it only at a later stage.
Meanwhile, the proof of the pudding is in the eating. How successful a parent you are, is determined by how useful your child is to society. You can expect your children to do good only if you yourself live good and lead them by example. There is no point in scolding, punishing or advising. All that matters is your personal EXAMPLE.